QUIZ: How Self-Compassionate Are You?

(Published with permission of Dr. Kristin Neff)

 

Read each statement, and then answer YES or NO. 

 

1. When I fail at something important to me, I become consumed by feelings of inadequacy.

 

2. I try to be understanding and patient toward those aspects of my personality that I don’t like.

 

3. When something painful happens, I try to take a balanced view of the situation.

 

4. When I’m feeling down, I tend to feel like most other people are probably happier than I am.

 

5. I try to see my failings as part of the human condition.

 

6. When I’m going through a very hard time, I give my-self the caring and tenderness I need.

 

7. When something upsets me, I try to keep my emotions in balance.

 

8. When I fail at something that’s important to me, I tend to feel alone in my failure.

 

9. When I’m feeling down, I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that’s wrong.

 

10. When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people.

 

11. I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies.

 

12. I’m intolerant and impatient toward those aspects of my personality I don’t like.

 

RESULTS:

 

If you answered mostly YES to questions 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 10, you treat yourself with due respect and tend to be kind to yourself even when things aren’t easy.You have a healthy self-esteem and often have lower levels of stress than others.

 

Now, check your answers for questions 1, 4, 8, 9, 11, 12. If you answered mostly YES here, like many of us, you have a tendency to beat yourself up and be your own worst critic. Give yourself a permission for mistakes and recognise the difference between making a bad judgement and being a bad person. Cultivate more self-compassion so you understand that your worth is unconditional. In some cases,  therapy with a trained mental health professional can accelerate the process.